Friday, November 9, 2012

What the hell?

What the hell?

 No one thinks one day when they say I do, they will be sitting alone drinking wine and worrying that they will never have sex again.  No one ever thinks one day that prince charming will cheat.  No one ever thinks that watching the Big Bang Theory will be the highlight of their Friday night.  If all of this sounds a bit dismal, let me try again.  I am sitting alone on Friday night and LOVING IT!  I ate what I wanted for dinner (cheese nips), drank some fruity wine coolers, and spent the better part of an hour creating ridiculous raps on my IPhone.  One thing about sleepover night with dad is that mom can watch what she wants on TV and enjoy an adult beverage.

There are many things that are sad about the breakdown of a marriage.  There is nothing more painful than finding out that vows were broken and that your life was not what you thought it was.  But, this is not the place to talk about pain and dissapointment.  I am not the only girl this happens to.  I will not be a victim and I will not define myself by the shit that someone else throws in my face.  This is the place that I start over.    This is when I pick my whiny ass up off the floor and focus on me.

 What I have learned in the past 6 months............
I am not defined by the word "Mrs.", I am still me--and for the first time in 20 years I can see who that is!
It is OK to not be part of a couple.  It is far better to be alone than to wake up next to someone and still feel lonely!
It sucks to realize you do not know how to change the gas tank on the grill.
It is OK to ask someone to help you change the gas tank on the grill.
It is best to work on you and not focus on the loss of HIM..........I have 60 less pounds of me (also 240 less if you count his fat ass) and I am still working on losing more.  I am proud of me-I kick ass.
That is what I want to do here-record the fact I kick ass.  No one will ever read this I bet, but I will have a record of what I can do--and it will be enough, no matter what.

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